


Branded

by aprica56



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 13:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprica56/pseuds/aprica56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to marking you up.</p>
<p>He just needs to lay low until they go on stage and not think about what it could mean that he apparently wanted to brand Liam with his own name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Branded

**Author's Note:**

> This won't make sense if you haven't read marking you up.  
> Obviously all of this is purely fiction, and in no way resembles true events. I have played with the timeline of Andy's visit, for the purposes of this story he was not in LA.

Maybe bolting from the room and hiding in the bands dressing room wasn't the smartest idea but it was all Harry had at the moment. He needed to be anywhere other than near Liam when he finally glimpsed what Harry had done. He has no idea how that just happened and he wishes the blissful calm he had felt while he was marking Liam lasted longer than a fleeting second. Now Harrys stomach is churning and he can’t make sense of his own actions. 

_Fuck. Ok. Everything is ok._ He just needs to lay low until they go on stage and not think about what it could mean that he apparently wanted to brand Liam with his own name. He can convince Lou to do his hair in here, like it’s his newest way to mess with the musicians. He can run a little bit late to the pre stage huddle so there’s no time for any conversation of any sort to be had. He should probably do something to the dressing room. People would find it weird if Harry had been in here all alone and not done anything to prank them.

Displacing everything in the bands dressing room ironically helps Harry’s inner disarray settle. Nothing of notice has happened at all, he’s just the same 19 year old kid he was two hours ago, being as politely annoying as he possibly can as he gently places the bands clothing on the floor. At least they’re still on their hangers, so they won’t get too wrinkled.

Liam looks scattered on stage. He’s all over the place, missing what little choreography they have and not really taking part in the banter between songs. Harry feels a stab of guilt over being the reason that the one out of all of them that can always be counted on to keep the show on track is falling apart. But as guilty as he feels, he can’t suppress the feeling that everything is right. When he thinks of those three lines on Liam’s skin it’s like taking a huge breath that revitalises everything. Satisfaction and a feeling of rightness are thrumming through his body, and he feels on top of the world.

For all that Liam is a mess on stage tonight, Harry is killing it. His notes are perfect, he throws on every piece of novelty clothing thrown at him, he is skipping and kissing bandmates cheeks and he is floating on a cloud of euphoria. Harry rides the wave through to the final encore and it isn't until they've all been ushered back into their dressing room and he is pinned by four sets of eyes that the guilt buzzes up again.

Nialls gaze is bemused, like he’s sure this is a joke but he hasn't figured out the punchline yet. Louis and Zayn are sending judgement to Harry, though while Louis’ is understanding, Zayns seems cold and untouchable. Liam, _oh Liam,_ is looking at Harry with complete bewilderment, like he is a foreign species that he will never be able to understand.

He’s panicking now. How can he explain this to the four of them in a way that will get them to brush this off as just another antic, an anecdote to fill space in interviews? He takes a deep breath and opens with “It’s like Toy Story, you see.”  
Niall guffaw’s, but the rest of the room is silent until the slamming of the door indicates Liam has bolted. Zayn looks at Harry with such contempt and immediately follows, leaving him standing hopelessly unable to finish his train of thought.

He promises Louis and Niall that it was a prank, he had to get Liam back for the time he had pantsed him at the O2. Niall slaps him on the back with a “reckon you may have gotten him back ten times with that mate”, and leaves to play a rematch in table tennis against Josh. Louis isn't as easily fooled.

It isn't easy to laugh the H off as a joke because it’s _Liam_. Liam is the guy who has put months of thought into every line etched onto his skin, has carefully considered the meaning of every curve. Whilst Harry, Louis and Zayns tattoos are mostly scribbles about capturing a fleeting moment Liams are an extension of his inner thought process. If Liam is a book then his tattoos are the key to understanding the themes and messages underlining the plot. Which is why Harry knew it was a big deal he was even being allowed to contribute to a new chapter.

He knows the agreed upon tattoo would have fitted in the epic tale of Liam Payne. Batman resonates with Liam. It speaks to the loneliness he felt in his childhood, when he found comfort in a child who lost his parents and continued on to make a difference in the world. A child who grew up not defeated, but enlightened and fought against the culture that took his parents. If Bruce Wayne could find a path towards a better world even after his had been ripped apart then Liam Payne could rise above the exclusion and hard hits that punctuated his childhood. And even when he found his equivalent of four Alfreds; four boys who are going to stick by his side and help him through anything, even when he is handed a golden key to the world he still holds on tightly to his starting point and has never forgotten that aching need to rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

Harry isn't sure how this unexpected mark fits into Liam’s novel. He used to think that he knew his part so well; knew exactly where he fitted into the story. He was part of a character building foundation. If Liam was the protagonist then Harry was the character who was always there in the background and existed mainly to provide context of how Liam got to be a part of the main plot. It wasn't worth mentioning Harry without the other three because they were a package deal in this story, all on equal footing to boost Liam to his full potential. 

But now Harry has promoted himself in the tale and he has no manuscript to work from. It’s like the novel switched writers half way through and Harry can’t read the book any more. He doesn't know where the story is going and he can’t see the conclusion.

 

He can feel Louis judging him. It’s a skill that not many possess, but Louis can convey more with his gaze then accomplished authors can in a thousand page missive. The judgement isn't so awful; Harry can deal with it because he knows he fucked up. It’s the pity and understanding in Louis’ eyes that sears straight through him. Louis looks at him like he has the answer to a question Harry hasn't even thought to ask. Louis will wait him out, he isn't going to force this conversation and perhaps the worst thing about having a best friend so intrinsically tied to you is that they know what you need before you do, but they won’t let you have it unless you get yourself there.

Harry waits until the last minute as everyone is boarding onto the busses, grabs Louis by the hand and drags him to the security bus. There is no way he can go through an eight hour journey in that close proximity to Liam. Plus he’s pretty sure for all of Louis’ apparent calm and understanding he’s actually far too impatient to let Harry work through his inner monologue until he eventually stumbles upon a solution to fix this mess.

Louis is looking at him like he might be the stupidest boy in the world. Harry tries again to push the whole thing aside as a prank but Louis isn't having a bar of it. He tells Harry that it’s time for him to confront what is actually going on, because whether he did it knowingly or not he has made a massive declaration and it’s going to completely ruin whatever Harry and Liam have if he lets it fester. Harry needs to decide what it is that they actually have, and he better have an answer by the time they get off the bus. He doesn't care what revelation Harry comes to, but it better be bloody better then ‘it’s like Toy fucking Story’.

The thing is though, as much as Harry started it out as a joke it actually _is_ like Toy Story. Andy writes his name on his favourite thing in the world to make sure he never gets lost. That’s all Harry was doing; marking his favourite thing so that when this tour is over Liam doesn't get lost in everything else. He can go back home to Wolverhampton, surround himself with old and new friends, and open the many doors his golden key now allows entrance to, but he will always have a compass burnt into his hip guiding him back to the boys. Liam will never be lost, and he will always return to reclaim his space in their tight circle. And if other people happen to see the mark and work out where exactly it is that Liam belongs then that’s entirely better, it just means he might be returned sooner. 

Louis has Harry pinned with a raised eyebrow. He’s shaking his head at him, asking Harry if he can even hear himself. Because, Louis tells him, what he’s hearing is that Harry doesn't want Liam to do anything other than be by Harrys side, and that is definitely not a ‘band thing’. He asks Harry if he feels the same with any of the other; does he get anxious when Zayn hides away during his off time? Does his gut churn when Niall goes back to Ireland? And does Harry feel like something has smashed and left a gaping hole when Louis spends time with El?

His head is spinning. He is such an idiot. How could he not have seen it? It was never Andy. It was never about the group missing Liam. It was always Harry _needing_ Liam. His world went topsy-turvy when he wasn't around and the only way it centred again was by literally branding Liam like an animal, making sure he was always Harry’s. And _fucking fuck fuck_ he was in love with Liam. 

He was gaping at Louis, looking completely terrified, unable to move or speak as his mind was frozen on a repeat loop of how complete he had felt drawing that final crossbar on Liam’s H. Louis was gazing back at him so softly, he gently reached out like Harry was a wild animal that easily spooked and grabbed his hand leading him to the back lounge. They passed the rest of the journey by watching manly movies full of explosions and blood and violence and not one little bit of romance or love. Louis feel asleep a couple of hours in and Harry was left with his head resting against the window staring at the empty road passing him by with only one word running through his head. _Liam._

Once Harry admitted to himself what was going on it was like a switch had been flipped. He was so sickeningly and pathetically in love. He would gaze at Liam whenever he was around, lose complete focus in conversations if he walked by and spent most of the show time as enraptured with Liam as the thousands of people that had paid to be there.

It was like he had been wearing glasses with the wrong prescription, and now he was finally wearing glasses with the right one. How could he have not seen this before? For fucks sake his hand got intimately acquainted with Liam’s dick at least once a day. The group might be close, but even they aren’t that close. He sleeps better on Liams shoulder then he does in a bed in any five star hotels. Whenever anything good happens to him Liam is the first person he wants to tell and whenever he’s feeling a bit crap or missing home Liam is the only person he wants to make him feel better. He tells the stupidest jokes in public, on stage and on twitter for millions to judge him so hard (and justly so), just because Liam’s grin always seems a little bit bigger the more ridiculous they are. He is possibly the most uncoordinated in the band, and yet he spent hours coaxing his legs to cooperate in some form just so he could do that stupid 10 second foot hitting routine with Liam that Harry doesn't even really understand. He’s pretty sure that he is not in fact this suave charming man people seem to think he is. Instead he is a completely un-self-aware, pathetic fool. 

The rest of the boys are good naturedly tolerant of Harry. Louis and Niall found the whole thing hilarious and had taken to swooning anytime they were alone in a room with Harry. ( _‘But his eyes, they are perfect chocolate circles that you could drown in and die a delicious chocolately death, and his voice is so lovely it would wake people from comas, and his arms could lift mountains and he could just be a professional mountain mover, and oh the way he breathes, like the way he just draws that oxygen in.’_ ) Zayn had taken Harry aside and warned him that he _cannot_ mess Liam around, and he better sort this out soon, otherwise he would think of a creative threat and then perform said threat.

Liam was still avoiding him, and Harry couldn't really blame him. He had talked to Liam the next day and apologised, but he couldn't bring himself to fully confess to Liam. This was going to be the start of the rest of their lives, and he could not do it in some non-descript backstage room. They were just passing by, the room was unmemorable to them and they were just as unmemorable to it. Liam deserved more than a rushed declaration interrupted by security herding them to the meet and greet or sound check or whatever other ten things they had on their schedule.

But he couldn't lie to Liam either. He couldn't sit there and tell Liam that it was all just a joke and that it meant nothing when in reality it meant _everything_. So he sat there with wide eyes and told Liam he is extremely, so very sorry that he tattooed his initial on him, and he really didn't mean to, and he definitely didn't mean to upset Liam by running away after it happened because basically Liam being upset was the worst thing ever in the world. 

He was getting teary as he told Liam that he did have an explanation, but he couldn't give it to him yet because he wasn't ready. And cementing everybody’s belief that Liam is the best person in the world, he gently wrapped Harry in hug and murmured that it was all ok, it didn't matter, whenever Harry was ready would be fine, and as long as they were good Liam was good. This is probably the reason everyone gets so angry when someone upsets Liam because Harry really deserved to be hit, and instead he’s ended up being the one getting comforted.

Liam said they were sorted, but he was still keeping his distance from Harry. If Harry walked into a room Liam would generally leave with a muttered excuse of vocal warm ups or wardrobe or hair or promises of a football game. They interacted less on stage than ever before, leaving the other boys working extra hard to balance their time between the two to make sure no one noticed anything had changed.

Harry had taken to riding on the bus with Lou and the crew because he didn't want to make things awkward for Liam on their bus. He didn't want to make him feel like he couldn't be at ease in the only place they could be truly unguarded on tour, and he knew Liam got more comfort from the bus than Harry did. To Harry the bus was his temporary transit that got him from place to place and was a cool place to hang out, but to Liam it was _home_. It was a steady base where he regrouped himself every night, it was the only thing he really had in America that he could claim as _his_ , and it was the only piece of them on this tour that spoke of some form of permanency; they were usually in a different place every day, but the bus always remained the same.

 

They had finally arrived in LA, and they were spending a solid amount of time there so Harry would finally be able to do something about this whole situation. LA was memorable. They had filmed their first film clip there, had their huge VMA win there, both Liam and Harry had gotten tattoos there, and now it’s the final calling card of their North America tour leg.

Most of Harry’s ideas of romance stem from his favourite movies. He wants to hold a boom box outside of Liams window, wants to chase him down last minute in an airport with an inspiring speech. He wants to write Liam a letter every day telling him how much he loves him, wants to stand on a table somewhere incredibly public and tell the world about his love, wants to take Liam stargazing and tell him he is his everything. He wants so badly to set up some terrifically corny scene with candles and soft music and Liams favourite foods but Harry is self-aware enough to know that he pushed his manipulative streak a bit too far to get Liam to agree to the tattoo that started this spiral, and the only way he would get Liam to listen to him would be by being upfront and frank. How hard could it be to sit Liam and just say ‘I love you’?

It would be so much easier if Liam just understood him for once like he understood Liam. Because hasn't that been the problem all along? Liam doesn't get it. He doesn't understand where he belongs and he never understands what he does to Harry. But perhaps Harry is being a bit unfair considering he only figured it out a week ago, and he was the one feeling all these things.

Ideally Harry would be able to clear the house, but between themselves and their various family and friends who were staying with them there are far too many people to make that a possibility. Instead he cornered Liam after he had slipped up to his room for a change of clothes. He sat himself down on Liams bed and looked at him imploringly as he told him he was ready to finish that chat if Liam was willing to hear it. 

He keeps his eyes fixed on the ground as he tells Liam that if he knew what had been subconsciously driving his actions he would never have let it get as out of hand as it did, because the last thing he ever wants to do is make Liam feel like he’s the punchline of a joke, especially when Harry is the one throwing the punch. He tells Liam how out of sorts he’s been feeling and how sick he feels when Liam spends time away from Harry with other people. He tells Liam that he knows he’s a selfish person, but it doesn't stop him from getting moody and upset when things don’t go as he wants. He tells him about how unhinged he felt during that week Andy was with them and how it felt like that circle inside of him had been smashed and there was a gaping hole that couldn't be filled.

Liam is silent throughout all of it, just calmly gazing at Harry and not interrupting. Liam always has been the only one of the boys who lets Harry keep rambling as he stumbles over his words and takes turns down dead-end tangents until he finally gets to his point in a roundabout manner.

He tells Liam about the revelation he had on the bus with Louis. How nothing feels real unless Liam is there experiencing it with him, or if he isn't it feels like it didn't happen until he gets to tell Liam about it. He tells him how Liam is always the first person he seeks out when he enters in a room and the last he looks at as he leaves one. He even tells him about the hours he spent finding jokes he thought Liam would find funny and all the bruises he got learning that stupid dance.

He tells Liam he knows he was angry when Harry started his Toy Story comment, but if he would please hear Harry out it made sense. He explains his comparison of writing his name on Liam just like Andy did to Woody. He explains how he had this feeling burning inside of him, a fiery desire to label Liam as his, and he knows that makes him a possessive twat, and he knows Liam doesn't belong to him because he is a person and no one can own another person, but it was the only way he could ensure he always knew where his home was. Because their lives were so transient and Harry didn't really feel like he even had a home any more, just various places that he spent time in, and the only place he ever felt that same sense of safeness and bone deep contentment that he had as a child at his home is when he’s with Liam. It doesn't matter where in the world they are, but when Liam is with him he feels like he’s home. And he just wants Liam to feel like his home is with Harry too.

He finally looks up at Liam and is met by his furrowed brow. “So I’m your Woody?”  
Harry feels a rush of joy explode in his gut because Liam is finally getting him! Yes, he is his Woody because Andy loves Woody best, just like Harry loves Liam best and actually it might be a bad metaphor when you consider he’s talking about romantic love and not friendship love and comparing Liam to a toy opens up a box of potential kinks that Harry really didn't mean to open. But if that was something Liam was into, well no judgement! He was very open-minded and willing to explore.

He glances back at Liam to see him struggling to breathe as he chokes out “Kink? Wait. Love?”  
And oh. Maybe Harry hadn't been as clear as he had thought. That happens a lot to him really, he sees things so clearly in his mind but he can never seem to explain them concisely.

“God. Yes Liam, I love you, you absolute fool. That’s why I've been such a tit and I'm so sorry but I didn't know how to deal with it all and I just love you so so much and oh! I could write it all down for you and it might make more sense, like an actual letter in the post because no one ever posts things any more and isn't it so nice when you get a letter like someone has been thinking about you so much th-" and Harry is cut off by Liams lips meeting his.

There aren't fireworks, and it isn't like planets colliding. Their noses bump, teeth clash and both of them are grinning a bit too much for it to be an actual kiss but Harry wouldn't want it to be storybook perfect, because imperfections mean something is real, and this is the most alive and anchored in the reality Harry has ever felt.

They break apart with just enough room for Liam to whisper back that he loves Harry too, he has for the longest time and he was going to kiss Harry again but sometime in the near future they needed to have a talk about Harry’s jealousy because he was not going to stop seeing Andy and he certainly didn't belong to Harry. He did, however, feel at home with Harry, always.

The days were passing in a blur of concerts and kisses and Harry felt like he had been wrapped in a cocoon of love and warmth and happiness. He was pretty sure that everyone else was finding him and Liam insufferable but he really didn't care because everything was finally right, his circle was full again, and it felt like a piece of Harry he didn't even know was missing has found its way home. 

It was their last show for their entire North America leg and Harry was bursting full with affection and love so fuck it, he was going to wear the shirt with hearts printed all over it that everyone teases him about. And if Liam rolled his eyes at him when he told him there was a heart for every member of their tour family and Liam's was the one that sat directly over his heart then so be it, he knew what he was signing up for when he kissed Harry. Besides, Harry’s shirt isn't permanent unlike a certain four arrows on someone’s arm.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr by the same username if you wish!


End file.
